A pethora of people have been writing in to remind me of all the gas station food that I missed. So, at great risk to myself, I have consumed the dark, scarey selections of gas station cuisine to bring you this expansion. You may have noticed that there has been a long time since I posted last, this is in part do to the trial, and more accurately, error of discovering edible things at the gas station.

Breakfast Burrito: C
To some its a basic food staple, to me, its a bland omlette wrapped in a tortilla. Aside from adding salt to it, this flavorless, rewarmed blob really didn't do anything for me other than burn my tongue when it squirted scrambled egg juice as I bit into it. The good part was that I didn't notice the difference in its flavor despite the temporary loss of my sense of taste.

Hot Dogs: B+
Yet another staple food for the masses, these are no ordinary, garden variety hot dogs. Oh no. These are hot dogs that have been slowly turning on heated rollers since the beginning of time! Immune to aging, nuclear blasts and
cockroaches, these sickenly brown meat-like sticks don't taste half bad. It's as if marinating in time adds a flavor condusive to katchup.

Hot Dogs off of the gas station floor: H@
Its really unfair for me to review this as the details are sketchy, and my memories are blurry buckshot pellets of delirium induced hallucinations. Here's what I rememeber. Aside from having a disturbing crunch, the hot dog which was clearly covered under the "30 second rule" for being dropped on the floor, was still as tastey as ever. About an hour later though I started running a fever. I went to the bathroom to splash water on my face, but when I looked in the mirror, I realized my skin was pealing. I pulled on the uplifted skin, all my flesh fell off like over cooked turkey. There I was a naked skeleton in the bathroom of my work. I did the only thing a reasonable man would do in such a situation. I hopped in my car and headed for the moon. When I arrived, the Moon Men greated me and we danced the Dance of 10,000 Dodo's. Then there was something about Big Bird with a bazooka and a lot of noise about Ernet Bourgnine's left ear. Then I woke up. It was three days later and I was in a tree just outside of Huston, Texas being hit with a broom held my an old woman who accused me of trying to steal her laundry. I got out of the tree and took a bus home. I haven't eaten anything off the floor since.

Donuts: A+
Known as the perfect food for their shape which resembles the shape of space-time itself, the donut is really hard to do wrong. Honestly, thing of the last time you've had a donut that was bad.... You can't, you know why? It takes over 3 weeks for them to grow mold and then another 2 weeks for them to taste bad after that. I'm telling you, donuts will replace rice by the year 2010 as the number 1 food in the world. Remember, you heard it here first.

Subs in plastic boxes: D-
When you think of a simple thing to eat, you think of something with few ingredients, no undue machines or utensils needed to create it and relativley easy to throw toghter would be pretty much fail safe, right? Wrong. Imagine if you will a bun that is either soggy to the point of loss of cohesiveness or stale enough to rival this post. The meat is almost always right at the turning point and the lettuce is actual the leaves from some artificial plant they keep buried in pile of hog manuer. The chese... well actually the cheese is pretty good, which is the only reason the subs aren't a solid F.

The End.